The "Strange" Ferret
Friday, August 8, 1:40AM:
It's 1:40AM and I've just gotten home from the Kent County jail. I'm hoping writing this will relieve the stress headache. This is the end to a harrowing day in the life of this shelter mom.
I work from 3:30pm to midnite take Emergency Road Service calls for AAA in 8 states. My mornings are generally spent taking care of the 40+ ferrets here except this morning turned into chaos.
I received a call from a leasing agent at an area apartment complex. They had found a ferret on a tenant's deck. I packed up a carrier and my Surrender Form. The maintenance man had put this ferret in a nice-sized heavier than usual shoebox & taped it up. It had 2 1-inch holes for air. While the agent was signing off on the ferret I untaped the box while talking to this little critter in the box only to be totally stunned to see a mink .... black as night ... just as stunned to see me as I was to see him. I snapped the box shut as my heart went up in my throat and I gasped "That's not a ferret". Totally unnerved, I explained to the agent they had captured a mink. I was hoping I would be able to merely take it back to it's home by a river or a creek until the agent said there wasn't any water around. You should have heard this thing screaming. I've never heard a ferret make this noise. The hissing, yes, but not the screaming.
OK, now what.
We have a wildlife rehab center in Grand Rapids but I was closer to the Humane Society so I went there instead. Nothing. They were closed and whoever I found knew nothing. So off I went with my mink in a shoebox. He quieted down when the minivan was in motion. It might have been he was listening to NPR. I think mink like Fresh Air with Diane Rheam.
Got to the wildlife rehab center (Peg & Roger Markel are wonderful people) and they didn't want my mink because this is baby bird season at their place; however, they did put a call through to their Dept of Natural Resources person ....... voicemail. I told them I would take the mink home, put him in a carrier and all the DNR guy had to do was come and get him before I went to work.
So I went home with my mink. He was listening to NPR and was quiet. I think mink like All Things Considered.
I had been set up to pick up a ferret, not a mink, so I went in the house to set up a larger carrier. The mink I left in the van in the shoebox on the floor. I left the back windows open for air. When I came out, sonofagun, the little @*%^$+^ had chewed a hole in the shoebox and was gone. He had to have scooted himself out the back windows. I have a Town & Country and it had back windows that vent out like minivans do. I marveled at his ability to move so fast, up and out. Across the street are a couple houses that have wooded backyards that drop to a nice little ravine with a little creek so I assumed he smelled the water & off he went.
I was disappointed because I didn't the opportunity to have him released in a safe area. I was worried because I was afraid some kids would try to pet the "ferret". I was worried the DNR guy would come over and fine me for negligence or something.
Oh well.
I went to work. The DNR guy never called.
At lunch, I went to my car to go to Wendy's. I opened the sliding door on the driver's side .... I don't know why .... and there was a little poopie. (note: Mink don't poop like ferrets.) I was a little concerned. I didn't remember seeing it before. I went thru the drive-thru at Wendy's and on the way back to work, out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of black whoosh from the dashboard area to under the passenger seat. I was totally freaked out. Mr. Mink hadn't escaped!!! He was holed up in my van!!! I think mink like Talk of the Nation.
All evening I was thinking of what to do. Do I call the police? Animal Control? How do I get home? Do I try to catch this thing? Where can I find a live trap? Midnite is too late to call Peg & Roger. The County cops were always at the Red Lion Restaurant when I use to get out of work at 10:30pm. Would they be in the parking lot at midnite? I worked myself up into a dandy stress headache.
Midnite.
I went to our security guard and explained the situation to perhaps get some help. Not a good idea. She was no help except she wanted to see the mink. 2 more co-workers came around to see the mink. I told them to watch carefully by the passenger seat and I turned the inside lights on by remote. They weren't disappointed. Mr. Mink whooshed from the seat to under the dashboard & was gone again.
I couldn't' decide if I should drive 5 miles home & call Peg & Roger in the morning for a live trip or try to find the police. My cops weren't at the Red Lion. Must be they had out there until the shift change at 11pm. My next thought was to go to the jail where I was sure I could find somebody. I slid gingerly into the drivers seat, keeping as close to the door as possible, turned on both overhead lights and did not put on my seatbelt. If Mr. Mink decided to attack, I wanted out. I think mink like jazz.
At the jail, 3 women and one police officer were sitting at a picnic table, obviously on a smoke break. I introduced myself and told them about my dilemma. For about an hour, I had a couple of officers, the 3 women and a couple maintenance guys trying to figure out how to get this mink out of my van with no luck whatsoever. There was no one around from Animal Control. I was really hoping they had a live trap laying around somewhere. The conclusion was Mr. Mink was holed up in the dashboard & was not coming out until all was quiet and the coast was clear.
One positive thing to come out of this was 1 lady had a ferret, and the other 2 liked ferrets so I gave them my business card & told them about the Midwest Ferret Fellowship Faire in Grand Rapids October 18.
I went home with Mr. Mink.
So right now there's an open carrier in my van with a dish of Totally Ferret and a dish of water and a mink. Tomorrow is my day off. I had things to do and now I have to catch a mink.
Saturday, August 9, 9:30AM:
The black as night mink turned into an gorgeous white as snow ermine ..... that little bugger was in my dreams last nite, too ........... not only in my minivan but in my dreams!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After 5 hours of sleep, I woke up Friday morning and immediately went out to check on Mr. Mink. More little poopies. There were 2 french fries in the van that I had left for him to eat. He hadn't touched them. April, I don't think he likes Totally Ferret because the dish hadn't been touched either. I don't know about the water. I don't know how I had all that poop when he wasn't eating anything. End of obsessive thought.
I needed a live trap. I called my good friend, June, who is a vet tech at a local cat clinic. She had been involved once live-trapping feral cats and had borrowed some of my large carriers. She informed me Animal Control takes a $75 deposit for live traps. Good grief. I borrowed her car and went over to Markels (wildlife rehabbers). Luckily, I found Peg in the kitchen and she had a live trap. She called her DNR contact again and he was in. He said mink are prolific in Kent County, they keep the muskrat population down and are voracious hunters. I told Peg I didn't I'd be able to find muskrat at Family Fare or Meijer (despite the fact Meijer has everything) and I WAS NOT going to have a trap with smelt in my minivan on a hot August day, windows cracked open or not.
I returned June's car and proceeded to set the live trap. I found a large can of tuna and put a tablespoon of juice and tuna in a bowl-shaped piece of foil. Food in the trap, trap in the van ..... done. He'd be trapped within the hour, then I'd release him somewhere wet and I'd have canned tuna for dinner.
Unbelievable ..... one hour later & the trap is still empty. How can he not be hungry for fish? It's good tuna!!!!! I'm baffled ..... and frustrated. I have been wasting a perfectly good day off where I could be spending quality time with my rescues on this lousy little mink!!!! This would not be a good time for a blood pressure check.
After the mail came, I decided to take Mr. Mink for a ride to Riverside Park. Riverside Park is a beautiful looooooong park along the Grand River and it's only a couple miles from my house. I've passed it a zillion times but never gone in. First time for everything, right? After a bit of a search, I found a nice little spot as close to the river as possible. I parked the car with the passenger side toward the river, opened the 2 doors on the passenger side, got out my chair and positioned it far from the vehicle but within a good line of sight and sat down with a PEOPLE magazine (the edition with the Jolie-Pitt twins). My thought was, well if you can't figure it out, you need to start listening to NPR. By the way, mink like Talk of the Nation.
I read the ENTIRE magazine so I must have been there 2 hours. NO escape of the mink. Ridiculous!! What is wrong with this animal??? I couldn't have made it any easier?!?!??! By now, I'm totally frustrated. I want this guy out ..... NOW. He hasn't eaten and had anything to drink ..... is he going to die in the dashboard of my minivan? Now I'm obsessing about having to explain to my insurance company how I need to file a claim to have my dashboard torn apart to find a dead mink.
I packed myself up, drove home, parked in the shade and cracked the windows open. My good friend, Rose, called and came over. My day off is our day to make our pilgrimage to Dairy Queen (1 large Turtle Pecan Cluster Blizzard and 1 large Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Blizzard, please). (Note: when I brought home 21 DMK ferrets last September, I named one little guy, DQ). She wanted to see the mink and take a picture. Knock yourself out, I told her. She found him and tried taking pics with her camera phone and then with my camera. I have no idea how long that lasted, but after she was exasperated, we went to Dairy Queen and she drove.
All I could do was wait for Mr. Mink to go into the live trap. I would let ferrets out to play, clean litterboxes and go out and check on the live trap.
At 10PM, it happened. I went out and there he was, just where he was suppose to be this morning. After 36 hours of waiting, the ordeal was over. There was Mr. Mink finally in the live trap and not happy about it at all. I had this wonderful adrenaline rush. I called June. I called Rose. I ran over to my neighbor who had also gotten in on the action. I carefully lifted the live trap out of the van hoping the trap would really and truly do its job. Mr. Mink was not happy. He started screeching. You know the bird screeching sound you hear in the movies that's suppose to be an eagle or a hawk or something? Well, I think it's a mink now after listening to this guy.
June came over and took pictures. Rose came over. I proceeded to tell them they were coming with me to release Mr. Mink and although I KNOW they were not planning on it, but good friends that they are, they agreed to come with me. I love them. Besides, I was not going into Riverside Park after 10pm. I had read enough stories in the paper about nighttime activity and even a murder years ago. I was not going to be a statistic or a news story. What was this woman doing in Riverside Park after dark, parked by the river, with an empty live trip near her body? Nope, not going alone.
But we had to go to the jail first. I had promised my new friends from last nite I would take pictures and bring them by, but this was even better than pictures. We stopped by June's house to get heavy gloves (June is always prepared for everything. She already had a monster flashlight with her) and then on to the jail. It was near shift change so it was close to 11pm when we got there. I followed an officer in, stopped him & told him I needed to find the people from last nite and told him the story. He went in and found a couple of the cops from the night before. I bought out the live trap and set it on the picnic table and, of course, we attracted a few more officers that were coming in off their shifts. One of the cops put his finger close to the cage and Mr. Mink screeched for everyone and then started hissing. You should have seen everyone back off. I told them we were heading for Riverside Park and not one of them was concerned for our safety by offering to release the mink for me, giving us a police escort or anything. They just went on their way ......good luck ....... bye.
Next stop, Riverside Park. I was hoping to go to the spot I had been earlier in the day but there was a gate blocking the entrance. We ended up at the first entrance by the boat launch. There was a truck with a boat trailer, no driver. Where was the owner? Where was the boat? Something sinister going on? Oh well, we were on a mission, I'll read about it in the paper tomorrow.
I pulled up as close to the river as I could away from the boat launch, left the headlights on so we could witness the event. We got out out, I got Mr. Mink out, set the trap down with the release end toward the river, put a pair of heavy gloves on, waited for June and Rose to find a good vantage point (behind me, of course) and then opened the release. Nothing. What's he doing? June said he was just sitting there, wait, he's sniffing, there's his head poking out ............ and then, in a heartbeat, out he flew straight for the cattails to the river.
DONE!!!!!!!
After a brief ... very brief ... celebration, we got back in MY minivan. I had my car back. 3 friends on their way home from a midnite adventure releasing a wild mink back to its habitat. I need a drink. I haven't had Kahlua or Baileys in a long time but that's going to end tonite. June discovered poop on her purse (nice souvenir) and I'm thinking my Saturday project is to clean the carpeting in my minivan.
Afterthought: if anyone has ever had experience with a live trap, it's a pretty neat little thing. I was impressed by it's simplicity and effectiveness. Kudos to whoever invented it.
Yea!!
Dee Gage
West Michigan Ferret Connection